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May 05, 2005

The definition & the importance of beauty 
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I was visiting one of my favourite website, actually an online diary of someone you always see in here, Pearl's website and the very top post made me ponder why would someone whom I feel is gorgeous doubt her own gorgeouness?

Her post started depressingly enough and ended somewhat even more depressing, for me. Maybe it was stress that made her feel doubtful of her looks, as she described it, pimples, fat and unattractive. Maybe we have all been bombarded with thin models that in times we forgot women are supposed to have curves, that flawless skin may be more of a myth than the norm and that slim, thin, tall, willowy body with gorgeous hair and perfect features are the standards we live up to when we should live up to the expectation of being kind, considerate, polite and helpful, all these are the qualities I feel my net friend, Pearl has, in abundance. I myself can't say that I am of these qualities and let's be honest, I talked about Atkins, and I am sure all would know I have a weight problem. My skin isn't exactly great, my hair isn't Pantene type hair and I am not tall at all, not in this generation though I was considered tall then. I am not exceptionally hard working, I never volunteer for anything charitable and I am not successfully financially. If my friend Pearl can feel so low of herself today, then I should be lower than her you know?

I wrote in her post that "Beauty starts with oneself. " and I believe that. I am vain because when I look in the mirror there are times I thought I look pretty and if I ever lose more weight or just start exercising, I will look darn gorgeous. Of course one shouldn't be too vain or too confident and I am not confident, at least not in front of strangers.

What is my definition of beauty? If you're think you're, you are! Like that saying in Latin I think, "I think therefore I am". Arrogant? Why not? You know your limits and you know your ability to go beyond your limititations.

I hope Pearl will feel better. A face full of pimples or a bit tighter clothes or a bit of fat doesn't define who you are. I feel her helpfulness, her positive posts, her insightful comments and her politeness in all her posts define this person. I do not know her in real life but I have a feeling I may like her if I ever know her in person though I doubt she will like me much actually. Imagine this; Internet is a great place where someone can remain anonymous, and because of that most people, like myself take this opportunity to be nasty because it's just words without a face, I don't have to live up to my physical image or an expectation that one should be polite and truthful. And yet to me Pearl did not abuse this opportunity and she came off more polite than I would expect anyone using the Internet to be. In a place full of nasty people, I met someone as sophisticated, classy, articulate and intelligent as this net friend of mine.

If that is not beauty, I do not know what is.

Do give her some words of encouragement. Maybe it's just a phase but a good word never fail to liven up a good spirit you know...

2 COMMENTS

Blogger sehseh writes ...

I understand her feelings since I'm going through the same phase. From what you term as willowy (me: skeleton), I grew to now what I term as ham. No kidding, I went from 49kg to now 5?kg (*ahemm), and I have ugly acne scars on my face.

I've once has a roommate which said this to my face: "If my face are like yours (acne scars), I'd rather die!"
Ouch. Talk about insensetivity... (not that she is much prettier than me or anyone else :P)

Those were the days were I'm afraid to go out to crowded places, I'm so afraid people will look at me and laughed "Bugger off, ugly" Anyway, as you said, even I have some faults I've grown to accept them. Now, I didn't see myself ugly - I can always get rid/change physical appearance. Luckily I have friends who accepted me as who I am, someone beautiful inside.


10:28 pm, May 05, 2005  


Blogger Pearl writes ...

Funn, thank you for thinking of me as gorgeous. I dunno what else to say, except that really, you think too well of me, and I really don't deserve all of that. But at the same time, I'm glad that I have given you such an impression. I guess it's that wonderful feeling that somehow, I've made an impact in someone's life.

I was overwhelmed when I read this post. I never knew that our interactions over the net would lead to something that would make me feel so much more assured about myself as a person. However, the grass is always greener on the other side Funn - while you think I may not like you if I knew you personally, I similarly think that you may not like me as well, should you know me in person, if you know what I'm saying ;).

Frankly, I've always admired you, in the sense that you have always exuded such confidence and astuteness in your writings. Many times I hope to possess that quality in my writings yet I don't. So Funn, please don't feel depressed after reading that stupid complaint of mine. You don't deserve to be ^^.

And sehseh, thank you for sharing your experience. You're right, it's a wonderful thing to have friends who accecpt you for who you are and not for how you look.

Hope I sound coherent. This has really tested my language ability =P.


12:12 am, May 07, 2005  





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