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November 10, 2005
The Korean culture & the Chinese culture
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The following is a follow up to my POST about learning Korean language.
Excellent link here at Understanding Korean Dramas. Now I understand the following where I have highlighted the key words only copied from the said website. The ones that is not in italic are my own observation. Quite a learning experience.
NAMES
Koreans write their surname (family name) first, followed by their given name. No comma is used to separate the surname from the given name.
Most Korean surnames consist of just one syllable, but a few contain two syllables (for example, Sun Woo). The top ten Korean surnames are: Kim, Lee (Yi/Rhee), Park (Pak), Choi (Choe), Jung (Jeong/Chung), Kang (Gang), Jo (Cho), Yoon (Yun), Jang (Chang) and Im (Yim/Lim). Other popular Korean surnames include: Ahn (An), Han, Go (Ko), Goo (Ku), Oh, Noh, Shin, and Yoo (Yu).
Korean given names usually consist of two syllables, which may be hyphenated when romanized. The given names for male members usually have one syllable which is the same syllable used by all male members of that generation in that family. For example, in the Korean drama "More than Words Can Say," the names of the three sons were Jang-su, Tae-su and Min-su.
Korean women retain their maiden surname after they get married. They do not use their husband's surname since family surnames are reserved only for people with blood ties.
People with the same surname who come from the same ancestral hometown are not allowed to marry each other. This is because they are considered family members, even if they are only distantly related. Consequently, when people are attracted to a person with the same surname, they typically will ask for that person's ancestral hometown right away.
Children usually use the surname of their father.
Many Koreans will insist that they be called by only their surname until they get to know you better. This can lead to confusion since more than 20% of the Korean population have Kim as their surname and 15% of the population uses the surname Lee. So if you call for a person named "Kim" in a crowd, many people will think you are calling them.
Chinese same here but mostly it's like Lim Ah A, Lim Ah B, Lim Ah C instead of the Korean's Kim A Ah, Kim B Ah, Kim C Ah. And we too have taboo of marrying persons with same surname but these days such taboo is less common since already so few marriage proposals what! As long as not family can lar! But first cousins is still not allowed (as in father's sibling's children as they're considered like own siblings).
SONS
As highlighted in "Mothers and Sisters," sons are more desirable than daughters in a traditional Korean family. If the family has more than one son, the oldest son is expected to take care of his parents when they age. Sons are also expected to produce grandsons to carry on the family name to the next generation. Daughters, on the other hand, are valued less since they become part of their husband's family and are required to serve their husband's parents once they get married.
Same here. For Chinese sons are important as the first born son will one day carry the lantern or whatever you call it at the parent's funeral. If no son, they will get relatives, and absolutely nobody then a son will be adopted or maybe borrowed. Yes sons will carry on the family name, same here for chinese.
PROPER ETIQUETTE
Respect must be shown to elders. Younger people do not address older people by their given names. For example, a girl addresses her older brother as "oppa" and older sister as "onni," but may address her younger brother or sister by their given names. A boy addresses his older brother as "hyong" and his older sister as "nuna." In an episode of "Mothers and Sisters," Kyong-bin (the #4 child in the family) was scolded by his mother for calling his older sister (the #3 child) by her given name.
Direct eye-to-eye contact when talking is considered rude and impolite. Notice that when Joon-hwi talked with his father in episode #2 of "Pretty Lady," he avoided looking his father in the eye even though he disagreed with what his father was saying.
Since age is important in determining hierarchy, it is not uncommon to ask someone their age when they are about the same age as you.
Quite the same cultural practice for Chinese with slight difference. In Chinese culture, rank and not just age is more important. So you will find an older person calling a much younger person his uncle and must show respect for that younger uncle even if he was 1 and a total brat. But nowadays we may not be that respectful anymore compared to the Koreans. We don't bow, never a practise and nowadays young people act like they own the world and old people a burden. Respectful behaviour is not a norm anymore and frankly I can't respect someone who could not demand respect simply because they're older or higher ranked. Respect must be earned.
So now I know there is a difference of how to address someone between a man and a woman. I was told hyong is what Hokkien people call their brothers too. In Chinese world it is so very not common at all for a younger sibling to call an older sibling by name. Totally shocking would be a child calling their parents by name, like some Westerners do which is total disrespect unless of course you have never met this parent of yours but still you call them aunty or uncle. In Malaysia, we call everybody older as aunty, uncle, pakcik, makcik or je-je (sister) or gor gor (brother). No differences like oppa or hyung though.
FOOD
All Korean meals--breakfast, lunch and dinner--include rice, kimchi and a variety of other side dishes, which are all served and eaten at the same time. You can eat the foods in any order and in any combination. The spread is quite elaborate compared to American standards since variety is very important.
The rice, either steamed white rice or rice cooked with grains such as barley and millet, is served in individual bowls for each person. The side dishes, on the other hand, are served family style with everyone eating directly from a common dish using their own spoon or chopsticks. Several varieties of kimchi (pickled vegetable spiced with chili pepper and garlic) are provided. Soup is also served at most meals.
One thing to remember when eating Korean food is never blow your nose at the dining table. Doing so is considered very rude. If the spiciness of Korean food makes your nose run, excuse yourself from the table to go to the bathroom to blow your nose.
Korean meals are eaten with a spoon and chopsticks which are frequently made of stainless steel. Unlike other Asians such as the Chinese and Japanese, Koreans use the spoon rather than chopsticks to eat rice. Koreans also do not usually lift the rice bowl off of the table when they eat.
Slight difference. Whilst I noticed Koreans eat with spoon more than chopsticks and they don't nibble their food, they eat the whole piece if they can, Chinese eat with chopsticks more and maybe we do nibble a bit. Now I realise I eat like a Korean! I always favour chopsticks because I can pick the food even if they're far awat and steel spoon like those Koreans even when drinking soup because I dislike plastic table spoon type.
Chinese meals consists of normally 3 dishes and 1 soup, soup a must. Rice also a must. But nowadays having not much time we eat like westerners, as in Americans, faster.
What is considered rude when sitting at the dinner table is eating with one hand on the table and the other hidden away. That I know is rude. For Malays, they eat with their right hand but never the left because well left is used to wash you know where. For Chinese also eating whilst placing your chin on your hand is very very rude.
UNLUCKY NUMBER
Number 4 is an unlucky number for Koreans since it sounds like the Korean word for death (sa). For this reason, some buildings do not have a fourth floor. If the building does have a fourth floor, the elevator may show the fourth floor as "F" instead of "4".
Same here. 4 in Cantonese is "Sei" sounding like die! Some buildings will pit 3A instead of 4 and 13A instead of 14. But since westerners also dislike 13, it kinda surprised me to find buildings with 14 but no 13. Very strange occurence.
IMPORTANT BIRTHDAYS
The first and 60th birthdays are the most important for Koreans. The first birthday is celebrated by placing the child, dressed in traditional Korean clothes, in front of a table with food and objects. The child is urged to pick up one of the objects. Depending on which object the child selects, one supposedly can foretell the child's future. For example, if the child picks up money, he will be rich. If he picks up a book, he will be a scholar. If he picks up food, he will be a government official.
The 60th birthday represents the completion of a zodiac cycle and is celebrated by family members offering the birthday person food, drink and best wishes for a long life.
Chinese also, I think 60 is the age for big birthday bash. I guess this can be traced back to the fact that in the past people die before 60 I guess. As for deaths, Chinese believes in "Siu Song" (Happy funeral) when the deceased is I think above 90 or 100. But since the standard is way too high, nowadays a person who died at the age of 80 also qualifies for Siu Song. In Siu Song, family members wear red and they're not supposed to cry. In other funerals, usually wear blue or white. Which is why to Chinese White signified death, so not Chinese will wear White qi-pao though nowadays nobody cares. It is also a practise to "Sit overnight" as in the day before the funeral friends and family will accompany the deceased's family and to pass time usually drink, eat peanuts, gamble...mostly sound like a party but depending on how old was the deceased. You won't joke and laugh when deceased is young. Some treat these kind of events as gatherings of family. Honest! I have never seen my relatives before except on funerals and weddings. Like one big family gatherings but of course I was never close to any of them. The casket is usually opened which is really eerie. It used to be the practice to place the coffin in the house of perhaps the oldest son but nowadays people rent like halls meant specifically for such rites. I remember when I was very young, the big huge olden days type of Chinese coffin (which you can see in those Chinese vampire series like Mr Vampire) which looked very very scary was placed in the house. Families slept around the coffin to pay vigilance to avoid any black cat or whatever black jumping over the coffin (or the dead will rise). I was really spooked. Not a good way to spend your night. I wonder do Korean culture practise that too? Death for Chinese is big business and also very eerie affair. For Malays the dead must be buried I think before dawn. Never cremated.
The above are my own observation. Thanks to Stephy for the link! What an insightful site. I hope to find a website which teaches the informal way of speech since everywhere teaches formal ways.
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3 COMMENTS
so true, we are not as respectful to our elderly as much anymore sadly... i noticed that they have a special bow for the elderly, ie: song hye kyo in full house when meeting rain's grandma.
off topic i find korean dramas gaining popularity all over the world, i read b4 how k-dramas were shown in russian, iraq and kazakhstan
glad that u found the site interesting!
Korean food is either spicy of bland. I don't see an in between, which is probably why they live longer I guess.
Are those respect in Korean culture a lip service? I do not know. But maybe they're genuine respect instilled in them still young. Japanese bow a lot too but I don't feel them as sincere, a bit like forced sincerity. koreans look more sincere.
Eh Chinese always eat with spoon and chopsticks, BUT Koreans prefer steel spoon for everything. The way they eat reminds me of my mom feeding me when I was young, one big spponful of rice, in one big gulp.
What I find most surprising is the women. They do look like they have a temper, an opinion where previously I thought like Japanese they talk softly and all. Not quite or maybe I am brainwashed by the dramas.
i always eat with a steel spoon, but not those one with the super long handles that koreans use. my skills in using chopsticks is quite limited so i always resorted to my trusty spoon haha =P
haha i do think korean women have a opinion/temper, in most of the dramas i've seen they always talk back and sometimes even yell/scream. every noticed sometimes they r very violent, always like to hit??